19July12
I find myself dragging my feet today.
I continue moving forward, but moving slowly, unsure of the next step.
Fear of failure is sometimes paralyzing, fear of letting someone down.
But even with the intense desire to not let anyone down, it is harder to act when it seems I already have.
When a project gets overdue, or I am already behind the schedule I wanted to achieve, it is even harder to make up the difference.
This is likely just a character flaw I must learn to deal with.
I don’t manage time well.
I want to honor God with everything I do, but sometimes it is easier to take care of small jobs and keep pushing off things that require a little more work.
By this time, I should have had a pallet of solar panels in the country.
By this time, I wanted to have a house built.
I came into Haiti with a ton of enthusiasm this trip, and yet, I continue to toil in the same day to day work. That is not to say it isn’t fruitful. Good things are happening, but, perhaps, at the expense of great things.
I have many things on my mind that keep getting postponed.
Honestly, I write this and post it publicly looking for more help, and for more accountability.
It is easier to ignore emails, since it is Haiti, and it is quite possible that I just didn’t see them due to internet being spotty. But I need to improve my responses.
But sometimes, I just don’t know answers, and that leads me to just letting them sit.
In an effort to get more help, more accountability, and continue moving forward as I need to, I want to ask you to pray for me, and to check in on projects that I state I want to accomplish here.
(1) Tomorrow, I MUST call Sun Electronics and Hellman Logistics and try to get this pallet of solar panels ordered.
(2) Tomorrow, I MUST get an airline ticket booked to head stateside August 8th.
(3) Tomorrow, I MUST get my phone book refilled with phone numbers that I need to continue. Specifically, I need Pastor Lex and Renee, Gama and Angela, Andrew and Angie Sutton, Delvar and Judelyn, Dave Bird, Smiley, Jude, Dr. Jay (U.S.), Osmy or other staff from Children’s Lifeline (Archaie), Emmanuel and Hannah (Haiti Village Health), Patrick (Caporal), Ken and Marie, Shane and Kristie.
(4) In the next week, I MUST open a bank account, get a health screening, and start the process of getting a Permis de sejour.
(5) By Monday, I need to have a draft ready to send to RickRuss.
(6) By the end of next week, I need to have an outline of a presentation for when I get home.
(7) By the end of next week, I need to check on the inverter at Kabic Beach House, Shane’s, and at Greg’s house.
(8) By the end of next week, I need to check in on Sister Bonite and see how her system is doing.
(9) Tomorrow, I MUST talk to Nick about land again.
(10) By the end of next week, I need to have plans to return to Leogane (Acts of Mercy) and Children’s Lifeline to finish the projects at those locations.
Please help me to stay on task with this. If you see me on facebook, ask how things are going. I should at least be able to talk about working on one of these jobs…
Every day, I can accomplish good things, but if I work a little harder, greater things are yet to come.
Please pray for me to continue to press forward, pushing hard to the prize.
Each day is filled with plenty to do, help me to stay motivated, to see the goal of His Glory, and to strive for it.
